


In the Still

by MS_Hikari



Category: Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, LET N UGLY CRY LET N UGLY CRY, M/M, experimenting with mute hilbert, first time writing second person so it's probably a mess, hi I'm still stuck in isshushipping hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MS_Hikari/pseuds/MS_Hikari
Summary: You want to say you love him, but you can’t.(a.k.a. bad overly ambiguous summary is bad the notes will have this make a lot more sense)
Relationships: N | Natural Harmonia Gropius/Touya | Hilbert
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	In the Still

**Author's Note:**

> I was dragged down into isshushipping hell and I've been here since 2018 and chances are I'm not getting out anytime soon so get used to the isshu spam
> 
> also I have literally no context as to when this takes place just sometime after BW's ending

This wasn’t the first time this had happened.

The mysterious Pokemon-speaking enigma of a man breaking down in your arms, crying for Pokemon, crying for his lost dream, screaming out all his regrets and fears. You were the only person he was comfortable being this vulnerable around---he never dare show even half of this type of emotion around anyone else, always remaining in a stone-cold disapproval. Around you, he let his entire being erupt.

You wanted to help. You wanted to reassure him, every single time. Wanted to tell him he wasn’t worthless, wasn’t a ‘warped, defective boy’ or a ‘freak’ or whatever that one-eyed asshole called him, that he did have a heart, a pure one bursting with love and care for Pokemon. Tell him how much you loved when he got excited over the tiniest things, examining and analyzing every piece of architect they came across or finding tiny excuses to solve a formula you couldn’t understand in the slightest, loved the tiny spark that would flare up in him whenever he would do any of that. Tell him how pretty his eyes were, how much you loved running your fingers through his soft mop of mint hair.

But you couldn’t do any of that.

You never could.

As always, you simply resign yourself to saying all of these through actions. Pulling him close, gripping onto his broad shoulders with one hand, slightly tilting his face up to yours with your other, kissing him over and over on his cheek, his other cheek, nose, forehead, jawline, ear, his eyelid, his other eyelid, his lips. His skin, pale as ivory, is cool to the touch, and despite how much meaning you put into each kiss you always pulled away feeling so hollow. He buries his face into your sleeve again, already soaked with tears and mucus. His crying is ugly, loud, raw, like he’s drowning in his own pain. 

You lay down, gently pulling him with you so that his head is now resting squarely on your chest, while the rest of him lay sprawled out over your body. Despite being much larger than you, he’s incredibly light---whenever you lay like this together you feel safe, and warm. Your hand travels down to his waist, your other hand trailing through his hair over and over.

You want to say you love him.

But you can’t.

It takes a while, but everything eventually dies down. His sobs turn into soft cries, and then to sniffles, and then to eventual silence. He falls asleep, still on top of you, breathing in a peaceful and almost blissful manner, only occasionally punctuated by slight sniffles from the aftermath of his crying. You wish this would be the last time this happens---but you always wished that, and it always happened again.

He loves you, you know that. Despite everything, despite all you did to Team Plasma and his dream, he still loves you. And despite everything, you love him. 

Your biggest regret is that he’s the only one of you who can say that.

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta be honest, I’ve always found the concept of mute Hilbert really interesting, especially in the context of isshushipping. I dunno, I just find it intriguing that people come up with in-story explanations for the ‘silent protagonist’ trope.
> 
> Also PLEASE for the love of ARCEUS let N ugly cry I'm so tired of the 'single trickles of tears dramatically run down face' LET HIM UGLY CRY


End file.
